Firsts

1. What you wanted to be when you grew up?
2. The name of your favorite toy?
3. Your best friend in the whole world?
4. Your first day at school or a new school?
5. The first time you realized that the opposite sex wasnt a cootie-coated monstrosity?
6. Your first kiss?
7. Your first real kiss?
8. The first time you realized that you were happy, no matter what?
9. The first time you realized what it means to be in love with someone?
10. The worse time you and a loved one fought? (not related to you)
11. The first time you threw up after an arguement of any kind?

First of all, I must apologise. This topic is ripped off from my friend Rusty's blog. But I thought it would be a good subject to muse over.

1. This evolved over time. Originaly I wanted to be a train engineer, then I wanted to be a mission specialist for NASA ( I went to space camp), then I just wanted to be an electrical engineer...then I realized my dyslexia combined with other things meant I suck too much at math to be any of those things.

2. My earliest favroite toy was probably my Transformers action figures. But my all time favorite was probably my Lego's.

3. My first best friend was a neighbor girl, Kimmie Sanders. This was before I was even in Kindergarten so, no dirty thoughs folks ;)

4. I remember every first day of every school I've been to. I remember most the smell, of new school supplies, default teacher perfume and whatever it was they used to clean the floors; all combining into that one unmistakable 'school smell'. I was never scared, I usually liked going back to school because it meant I could see all my friends more often and see some I hadn't seen all summer. I wasn't a very good student so I knew I wasn't going to do much work, thus was never worried about any tests or anything. I would just assume I wasn't going to do well or if it happened to be a subject I was interested in or had done my own research then I knew I would do very well regardless of how good or bad the teacher happened to be.

5. Hm...I don't remember ever feeling this way actually. I've always had a girl that was a friend (but not necicarily a girlfriend) for most of my years. The usual problem was the other way around, the girl/girls thinking I was full of cooties.....

6. Kimmie Sanders in a shopping cart at Pamida. Again, before I was in school but I remember it like it was yesterday.

7. Ahh....as a matter of fact the anneversary of this event was 2 day ago, on Mary's birthday. It was in High School, I had to work but in the afternoon (at McDonalds, uck). But I went over to Mary's to hang out before hand and to celebrate her birthday, we watched a movie (Lost in Space). Right when I was leaving, she walked out to my car with me and I finally worked up enough courage to kiss her......I didn't want to go to work that day.

8. My life has been alternate stages of happy and depressed....It wasn't till I started dateing my wife Jenn that I was truely happy no matter what.

9. I'm going to get in trouble here if Jenn is reading this (I'm sorry). First time I was really in love, was when I was dating Mary. Things eventually didn't work out but it was the first time I was truely in love with someone.

10. Again, I'd prolly have to go w/ Mary again on this one. I've never really 'fought' with a significant other, but have had many a sad conversation. The worst was when I received a letter from Mary titled "To whom it may concern"...I called in sick to work that day and ran away to Minnesota with my Mom (in an ambulance no less, lol) I couldn't handle life that day....I think its the only letter I've destroyed because it just hurt too much. We did patch things up after that letter, our eventual breakup was not for many months later.

11. I've never thown up after an argument, but I have as I mentioned ran away. I've also stood on the edge of a bluff trying to jump...


So there you have it, a window into my soul. Mostly just typical teenager stuff, some of it not. You'll be pleased to note (hopefully?) that I don't get depressed as badly as I used to. I think Jenn helps that a lot. Mary and I are still friends (I hope :) ). I made this list in regard to all my firsts, but there have been others in my life who I don't want to leave out. Namly Jamie, my second real girlfriend who I ended up screwing up the relationship this time. I know if she's reading this she'd be rolling her eyes, and telling me not to dwell on it but, well its my nature. Jamie and I are still good friends and I still love her very much, but miss her lots since she went and moved half way across the world......ok maybe only 8 hrs away but still...