Bonus Blog (warning, politcs ahead)

Ok so I'm going to come out and say it, I'm voting for turd sandwitch...er I mean John McCain. Why? I don't want to make y'all hate me who want to vote for Obama, I'm sure you have your reasons. Don't get me wrong, I don't really like either canditate, but I do belive John to be the lesser of two evils. I think Obama is too untested, thats not necicarily a bad thing since a set in stone politician isn't good either. But I would like to know where the man stands in practice, not just in speeches. To me, he is like Grima Wormtongue in Lord of the Rings only with more charisma. He will say whatever it takes to win, in such a way that you want to belive every word of it. He's too shiny. Secondly, he's way to socialist for my liking. I think the government should stay out of our business, and our businesses. I was kind of on the edge till Obama made the comment "I think spreading the wealth around is a good thing." I wholeheartedly disagree with this, it sounds like somethign Karl Marx would say (and maybe he did). Also his health care plan, again socialism. I get the feeling that this guy leans in that direction a lot.

Now I'm not saying McCain is some super genious though. I don't like his healthcare plan either, and I don't think he knows jack about what to do w/ the economy. I do think he will listen to people who do know whats going on though and make at least somewhat decent decisions based on that. I also think he can make better decisions on the war and terrorism in general.

Either way the next 4 years are going to be 'interesting' as I have said before. If you havn't decided on who to vote for yet, don't take my opinion, go visit each of the candidates websites and decide for yourself who to vote for. And then on election day, for heavens sake, even if you don't think it matters please vote. Don't write in Micky Mouse, literaly vote for one or the other, or a third party if you prefer. Your vote does count, my vote counts and collectivly, we can take control of our country again.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

This was a movie w/ Jim Carey that kindof flew under the radar. The basic premise, w/o ruining the movie is this: Jim Carey's character meets a girl and they start dating. Something happens and the girl no longer wants to be in the relationship so she hires a company that can come in and erase from your mind any event or person or whatever. So, its like the relationship never even happened. Well this confused Jim as to why this girl is acting like she doesn't even know him, he is devastated but also discoveres this company and has the same thing done. Well something happens to him during the procedure and he changes his mind and trys to resist and keep his memories. Now go see the movie for the rest, its very good. You'll like it.

Anyway, my point is; is there anything in your life that you would hire this company to remove your memories of? I was thinking about this today, I keep going back and forth. There are some memories in my live that still haunt me, still depress me sometimes. But if they were removed, I don't think I'd be who I am today. But on the other hand, it would be nice to break the cycle and not cling to the past so much, maybe I'd be able to look forward more and maybe be a better, happier person. Or, maybe not, who knows.

Not that my life is bad. Things couldn't be better I s'pose. I have a great wife and a great house, great friends etc. But sometimes the past sneaks up on be and my memory is such that I can see those events in my head as if they are happening right now. Thus the feelings are just as fresh now as they were then. Its like a photographic memory but only for distant past events. My short term memory was fried, probably by too much caffeine. Anyway, these memories kick my ass whenever I start to think about them, particularly in October like one of my previous blogs mentioned. I try to not let them bother me, but yeah, they do. Oh well I suppose its how we act on our feelings not the feelings themselves that make us who we are, and I never (well not anymore) act on those feelings.

So this is a pointless blog other than, the eraseing your mind part. Think about it, its fun. Make comments, let me know if you would undergo this procedure if it existed.

Postpartum Depression Defense.

First I give you this. Now I warn you anything that Basu writes makes me shoot blood out of my eyes, but I like arguing w/ the people who comment on her drivel. If your lazy basicly, some chick killed her baby several years ago and was sentenced to prison. Now she is aparantly getting a new trial because they are blaming it on Postpartum Depression....

I'll conceed the point that postpartum depression is real. I won't argue that, I know depression and what it can do. However, I whole-heartedly, disagree that it should be a get out of jail free card. Where do we draw the line? Murder is ok, as long as it was committed by a crazy mother? No, murder is murder and there should be punishment, this was not a justifiable homicide. This was a messed up lady who, instead of getting help (or any of her friends or family getting her help) she decided to act on her depression and kill her infant. I'm not completely heartless, I dont' think this was Murder 1, but definately Manslaughter or hell some charge of fatal Neglect I would agree with, and of course some mental help while they are in minimum security or a secure mental hospital.

Here is another example of how our society has turned to one of excuses and "the devil made me do it" attitude. We will look for every other reason why something happend before we will take personal responsibility for our own actions. Which is going to lead me off on a different tangent in this blog, I'd considered makeing a seperate entry but, meh deal with it.

Tangent: America, Socialism and you
Judging by what I'm hearing from the various news sources I read/listen/watch, it seems our society is more than ever, heading down the slippery slope of socialism. The most blatent example was while I was listening to Sean Hannity (Don't worry, I'm not a crazy republican. Its just one of my many sources I look at). He was taking 30 second calls from Obama supporters and refuting whatever topic they brought up. When this caller said something that he agreed with Obama's tax plan and his quote "I think spreading the wealth around is a good thing - Obama". Hannity said so you agree with "From each American acording to his ability, to each American according to his need"? The caller said, "yes". Hannity for a moment was speechless. He asked, do you know who said that? The caller truthfully admitted "no", and this guy sounded like he had to have been at least middle aged and thus had no excuse why he shouldn't have known the famous Karl Marx quote. Is this really what the majority of Americans belive? That the government should have their hands in everything so we don't have to? Should the government have controll over your healthcare, retirement, mortgage? Or in the extreme, what you eat? Your income? Your profession? Aparanlty some people do, but I doub't they know what socialism really means in the long run. It just doesn't work. It strips away the freedoms our ancestors fought so hard to obtain and protect. It discourages, innovation and productivity. It discurages uniqueness.

I just found it sad that there are really people out there that have no problems giving up these freedoms. Simply because they don't want to be held responsible, or think nobody and no business should be allowed to fail because it might cause someone, somewhere, an inconvenience. In my opinion, people should be allowed to fail. When we fail, that is when we learn the most and will (excuse my callousness) weed out those who refuse to better themselves. There are some things the government should have a hand in of course, but that list should be significantly smaller than it is now. Take responsibility for yourself

Firsts

1. What you wanted to be when you grew up?
2. The name of your favorite toy?
3. Your best friend in the whole world?
4. Your first day at school or a new school?
5. The first time you realized that the opposite sex wasnt a cootie-coated monstrosity?
6. Your first kiss?
7. Your first real kiss?
8. The first time you realized that you were happy, no matter what?
9. The first time you realized what it means to be in love with someone?
10. The worse time you and a loved one fought? (not related to you)
11. The first time you threw up after an arguement of any kind?

First of all, I must apologise. This topic is ripped off from my friend Rusty's blog. But I thought it would be a good subject to muse over.

1. This evolved over time. Originaly I wanted to be a train engineer, then I wanted to be a mission specialist for NASA ( I went to space camp), then I just wanted to be an electrical engineer...then I realized my dyslexia combined with other things meant I suck too much at math to be any of those things.

2. My earliest favroite toy was probably my Transformers action figures. But my all time favorite was probably my Lego's.

3. My first best friend was a neighbor girl, Kimmie Sanders. This was before I was even in Kindergarten so, no dirty thoughs folks ;)

4. I remember every first day of every school I've been to. I remember most the smell, of new school supplies, default teacher perfume and whatever it was they used to clean the floors; all combining into that one unmistakable 'school smell'. I was never scared, I usually liked going back to school because it meant I could see all my friends more often and see some I hadn't seen all summer. I wasn't a very good student so I knew I wasn't going to do much work, thus was never worried about any tests or anything. I would just assume I wasn't going to do well or if it happened to be a subject I was interested in or had done my own research then I knew I would do very well regardless of how good or bad the teacher happened to be.

5. Hm...I don't remember ever feeling this way actually. I've always had a girl that was a friend (but not necicarily a girlfriend) for most of my years. The usual problem was the other way around, the girl/girls thinking I was full of cooties.....

6. Kimmie Sanders in a shopping cart at Pamida. Again, before I was in school but I remember it like it was yesterday.

7. Ahh....as a matter of fact the anneversary of this event was 2 day ago, on Mary's birthday. It was in High School, I had to work but in the afternoon (at McDonalds, uck). But I went over to Mary's to hang out before hand and to celebrate her birthday, we watched a movie (Lost in Space). Right when I was leaving, she walked out to my car with me and I finally worked up enough courage to kiss her......I didn't want to go to work that day.

8. My life has been alternate stages of happy and depressed....It wasn't till I started dateing my wife Jenn that I was truely happy no matter what.

9. I'm going to get in trouble here if Jenn is reading this (I'm sorry). First time I was really in love, was when I was dating Mary. Things eventually didn't work out but it was the first time I was truely in love with someone.

10. Again, I'd prolly have to go w/ Mary again on this one. I've never really 'fought' with a significant other, but have had many a sad conversation. The worst was when I received a letter from Mary titled "To whom it may concern"...I called in sick to work that day and ran away to Minnesota with my Mom (in an ambulance no less, lol) I couldn't handle life that day....I think its the only letter I've destroyed because it just hurt too much. We did patch things up after that letter, our eventual breakup was not for many months later.

11. I've never thown up after an argument, but I have as I mentioned ran away. I've also stood on the edge of a bluff trying to jump...


So there you have it, a window into my soul. Mostly just typical teenager stuff, some of it not. You'll be pleased to note (hopefully?) that I don't get depressed as badly as I used to. I think Jenn helps that a lot. Mary and I are still friends (I hope :) ). I made this list in regard to all my firsts, but there have been others in my life who I don't want to leave out. Namly Jamie, my second real girlfriend who I ended up screwing up the relationship this time. I know if she's reading this she'd be rolling her eyes, and telling me not to dwell on it but, well its my nature. Jamie and I are still good friends and I still love her very much, but miss her lots since she went and moved half way across the world......ok maybe only 8 hrs away but still...

October

Double blog post today. Sorry its pretty emo though. October; I love it and I hate it. More spacificly September and October together. The weather is chaotic, but the nice days are really nice, not too hot not too cold. The leaves are changing and beautiful. But it inevitably reminds me of high school, and marching band. High school was a very life changing time for me. My first kiss was in October. I know it sounds stupid, I was just a kid and all that but its always going to be a time in my life that I will vividly remember. It was bittersweet. I loved band, most of my friends were in the band, and my girlfriend at the time was too. That was wonderfull, except when we were having some, shal we say, rough times. Then things couldn't have been worse. The smell of October, brings back all these memorys of sitting on the hill not watching the football game on Friday nights (or was it Saturday?). Or sitting on the side of the hill completely consumed w/ depression and trying desperately not to show it. All of these are memories that have not faded to me, my memory is such that past events are always crystal clear; like a high def movie playing in my head. If any of you from that time in my life are reading this, please know this is not aimed at you. I love you all, and wouldn't change that time for anyhing. (well there is one thing I would like to have changed, but that is a something that will never be shared)

So, October. I will always love you and I will always hate you.

Busy Busy Busy

I remember back in the latter days of middle school and all of high school, playing games on weekends. Sometimes 48 hour sessions of Dungeons and Dragon's or Starfleet Battles at the Brimeyer's house. It was never hard to pull a group together, and we didn't have a care in the world. I was afraid that when I went to college all this would end, maybe I wouldn't even be able to find a fellow RP gamer at a business collge. Fortunately, the Gods of gameing smiled upon me and introduced me to, who would become my brother in law, and a couple other guys that gamed. I was also brought into the wonderfull world of LAN partying. Good times were had by all. Once again, we had 48 hr games of Heroes of Might and Magic 3 or epic adventureing in the worlds of D&D.

Sadly, little by little, one by one, all of us who play went off to start their own lives and their own worlds, many in different towns (5 different towns to be exact). I miss the days, when we could play even once a week. I tried rallying one last, great hurrah! Against the Giants is the name of the D&D module, it was my first campaign back in 8th grade. I thought it would be great to come full circle and now DM that campaign as a last great gathering. It started off well, but now as I said we are all scattered through 5 cities, two players of which now live in Seattle so they can no longer play. It became once a month. Then people got even busier and it became once every other month. Its now longer than that, we did have a day thislast month but unfortunate circumstances made us call off that date. I'm getting tired of trying to orgainze the group. Everybody's life is too busy now, I guess we all have to grow up.

Adult life is way too boreing to me. Church things, community things. Meh. And I know it would only get worseish when my friends start having children. Don't get me wrong, I think it would be wonderfull to be an uncle and I wish them nothing but happiness. But I have to admit a part of me will be sad that it would be another, if not the final nail in the coffin of game night. On that note though, there may be a sliver of hope if Mrs. Kimpak and I have children that grow up to be gamers, I can dust off the old books and DM for them and their friends, just as Mr. Brimeyer did for us.

Economic Bailout Boogaloo

Wow, 700 billion dollars. That is a hell of a lot of money. To put it in video game terms (for those of you who are familiar w/ EVE online) that much money could buy you a Titan. Which is a spaceship the size of some planets. Our elected officals are pissed that the american public is actualy fighting them on this. By some reports more citizens called and/or mailed their congresspeople than ever before. That is saying something, when our society is largely based on lazyness.

Anyway, as to the bailout plan itself, its terrible. Don't get me wrong, there are some good bits in it (yes I have actually read the thing.../shudder); but its mostly bad. Jay Leno said it best, "Here's the way a bailout works. A failed president and a failed Congress invest $700 billion of your money in failed businesses. Believe me, this can't fail." Riiiggghht, sounds pretty awesome to me what about you? All kidding aside though, something has to be done but it must be done by 'We the People', not the federal government. However, given the state of our current society; I think we're doomed if we rely on people actually taking personal responsibility for themeselves.

Even if this bill passes, no one is guaranteeing that it will work. In fact most experts will tell you that this bill sucks and it has maybe a 50/50 chance to work. But, they say, something has to be done rather than nothing. So they are taking the chance and throwing the dart. We're either going to hit the bullseye or its goint to riccoche off the wall and land in someones beer. I'm hopeing for the bullseye, but preparing for the spilled beer.

Sometimes though, I do entertain the thought of hoping for an actuall economic collapse or our military just up and leaving Iraq and Afganastan etc... What would the world be like? Would it be just a clensing fire and eventually a new "Greatest Generation" will rise from the ashes? Or will it be the collapse of a great power like Rome, to be replaced by a new dark age?