I haven’t blogged in a long time. A lot of it has to do with my last blog post about Rusty. I still miss the big guy and some days its just too hard to wrap my mind around the fact I won’t be able to do anything with him anymore. But I know he wouldn’t want me to get stuck, but to move on and so I shall. But Rusty will always be alive in my heart.
So this is mainly an intermediary blog to get me back into the grove before I go ranting about politics or society or whatever happens to be grinding my gears for the day. Getting back on the proverbial horse.
In my life everything is going relatively well. Mrs. Kimpak and I are doing great. The garden is growing. Some of the house work is being a pain in the ass, but it will be great when we are finished. Drama factor is low, which is good. So, IDK why the heck I’ve been somewhat depressed lately. Well I guess I really do know but cant’ really find a solution for it. As retarded as it sounds it all stems from events that took place in 1999 to 2001ish. Yes, that was my senior year of high school and some of my college freshman years. Those were the three years that would define who I am for the rest of my life really, and all the complications that went along with it. The whole story is too boring to tell here but suffice it to say they left their mark, probably more than anyone knows. So how do I fix that? I can’t go back to 1999 in my Delorean and fix everything (mostly because I don’t think you can really get a Delorean up to 88mph). So what to do. I’ve had counseling, I’ve read books, I’ve heard motivational speakers and its helped somewhat. I have a great wife who doesn’t completely understand I’m sure but is very supportive. All of that has helped, but I still have relapses. Maybe it’s a curse of having a photographic long term memory. I can still remember and see events that have happened long ago. So all that is as fresh today as it was many years ago.
I don’t know maybe I’m just being emo and QQing in the corner or whatever. I’m sure I’ll snap out of it till the next time it happens.
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Ok, so yeah, you are being quite emo. ok, just kidding. I know how you feel. I have those moments, maybe not quite likes yours, where I feel the same way. If you just keep your faith in your friends and family you will pull out of it. Letting go of the past can be the hardest thing anyone does, thankfully I spent my teens and 20s in a drunken stupor and cant remember most of them. Since you don't have that option I guess my only advice would be to keep looking ahead at what you have, focus on that, and communicate. Talking about it in great detail and to someone close, such as the wifey, helps alot. For some reason I have found that talking is one thing and talking to someone close to you feels completely different. Also remember that your friends are always here to listen and help too.
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